One Month

Emory is one month old today. I can't believe it, it feels like she was just born, but at the same time it feels like she has been here forever. I can't remember what I did with my time before her. She fits so perfectly into our lives, it's hard to imagine it without her now! The last month has been amazing! It is hard to put into words the emotions that I have felt over the last four weeks since Emory's arrival into this world. I believe that I have felt every emotion possible since I went into labor a month ago. At first I didn't want to get my hopes up that she was coming because I didn't want someone to tell me that I was wrong and had to go home to wait longer! Then it was fear. Fear because she didn't like when I pushed, causing her heart rate to drop. The mom in me wanted to be clueless but the nurse in me wouldn't let me. When I heard her cry for the first time, tears of joy filled my eyes! The nurse placed her in my arms and I looked at the most amazing miracle, my daughter! She was beautiful and immediately my heart was filled with love for someone I had just met!! Ok I know I had carried her around with me for nine months but seeing her for the first time was incredible! When it was time to bring her home, fear set in again. I have been around kids all my life and I am a pediatric nurse, but this kid was mine and we were taking her home! Yikes! I have decided there are no prerequisites for motherhood! It doesn't matter that I have babysat since I was 12 or that I have been a pediatric nurse for four years (that actually might make it worse), motherhood is something that comes naturally in part. The other part you learn, trial and error! Emory calls the shots around here now! My heart aches when she is crying and I can't fix the problem and sometimes frustration when she's been crying and fussy for an hour and I can't help her!

This morning I watched her as she began to wake up again to nurse. I love watching her make her "turtle" face and listening to her make the sweetest noises as she starts to stir. She is a little snuggle bug and loves to cuddle up next to me after she has nursed. I will lay her on my chest to burp her and she kicks her legs until she moves her face right beside my neck where she falls asleep. It makes it hard to put her down to finish her nap. I wonder what she's dreaming about when she smiles in her sleep!

She is much more alert and awake for longer periods of time now and has started to find her "voice" so when we are playing she "talks" and smiles. But when I get the video camera out to film it for Chase she stops. Then of course starts back when the camera is off. Tummy time isn't her favorite thing but she is starting to get the hang of it and bath time is going very well! The initial bath was a little traumatic for her, at least she thought it was, but since then she loves them until you wash her hair. I told her we would probably fight about that for years to come!

This past month has been wonderful. God has truly blessed my life with a loving husband, a beautiful, healthy daughter, a wonderful family always willing to give advice :), and caring friends, always there to help! I couldn't ask for more!